How Not to Snoop Through Russia's House
by Hetabee
Summary: Requested by CoralJay from deviantART for a Baltic Trio one-shot. Goes along with the companion fic to a fic based on a RP I haven't put into writing yet. Was meant to be an omake for a chapter of that, but yeah. Short summary: Who could be doing something so horrible as spying on the nations? Is it one of their own? Only he knows... This takes place after Kiss Me.


The twinkle of nightly jewels spread out on the expanse of midnight sky was an exquisite rarity to catch sight of, indeed. Especially when compared to the location's usually cloudy days offering nothing but pitch black nights. Seeing something different was like a lovely breath of fresh air to a certain Latvian by the name of Raivis.

Raivis sighed dreamily from the window of the mansion that granted him access to a spectacular view of Mother Nature's evening scenery. Observing the beauty of the natural world had always been something he longed to do but couldn't under Ivan's suffocating control.

Now that he was free, albeit still being physically crushed from time to time, he could do such things and not be punished for it, though he was prone to checking wherever he was to make sure the creepy Russian wasn't somewhere lurking nearby. You can't blame him for it since he would have been at least ten centimeters taller by now if it weren't for all of that awful crushing Ivan does!

A high pitch squeak broke through the shaky teen's thoughts as he immediately went to find his fellow Baltic brothers.

"Estonia? Is that you? Is Mr. Russia coming?!" he called to an empty hallway, his soft voice feebly fading out through abandoned corridors as he slowly edged his way to the source of the manly squeak, large violet eyes darting every which way in his previously explained paranoia.

You see, the Baltics had invited themselves into Ivan's house (mansion) for reasons of which only Eduard knew. He just showed up on Raivis' doorstep earlier that night with Toris and announced that they were going to his house, no questions asked. They had idiotically followed him and ended up at their tormentor's place after not too long, suddenly seeming to realize that they didn't have a way of opening the door without damaging the ancient estate. Luckily, or unluckily if you really think about it, Raivis remembered that he had a key from when he was still the former Soviet's servant on him and was able to unlock the front door for them. Stepping into the place he used to live in constant fear and suffering made him feel like he was permanently trapped there again, so he excused himself from the two older nations to clear his head and try calming his excitable nerves.

Turning down hallway after identical hallway, he was now beginning to regret that decision as the shadows began to curl into each other, scaring the living crap out of him until he realized it wasn't some hellish demon coming to take him. Or a serene Ivan. That was way worse than any sort of demon he could imagine-

Abruptly stopping in a hallway darker than the last, he wondered how long he had been walking to end up here. It was a more than familiar place since it was where he most likely ended up after playing none-too fair games with Ivan. The usual and his most favorite game being Hide and Seek. That game never went well for the little Latvian who would crouch under anything and everything to get out of the childish man's field of vision, just to narrowly avoid getting beaten senseless by the pipe he would use to smash whatever he was hiding in/under.

He shuddered at the frightening memories. What a messed up childhood he had to endure! Quickly surveying his surroundings he figured it was best to get out of plain sight just in case the Russian was somehow there, playing with him unexpectedly. It wasn't an unusual thought to have since that had already happened more than twice before.

Entering through the parted door into the not-as-dusty-as-the-rest-of-the-place room, he was unnerved by the silence pervading from it and began to look for the familiar book he liked to pass the time with when he was chased there.

It was a diary of sorts about the Cold War and its effect on Russia. Raivis didn't know why it fascinated him so much, but he could read about the fall of the Soviet Union multiple times without getting even a little bored. Maybe it was the idea of the person he's most afraid of getting a taste of his own medicine that made its readability greater than it ought to be. Either way, it was like an unspoken tradition to read it in there and he oddly couldn't find it as easily today. Where was it?

_'If he knows I've been reading his book, I wonder what he would do to me...'_ Raivis gulped at the thought, but pushed on with his search anyway. Better read it one last time before his skull was finally crushed to implosion by Ivan's ready and waiting hand. Before he could dwell any more on that real life-threatening possibility, the clinking of the brass doorknob being used found its way to his ears and he frantically looked for a hiding spot.

_'The coats!'_ his mind shouted to him as he dived into the rumpled mass of fabrics that lay scattered on the ground, right as the door opened and careful footsteps echoed around the room.

_'Who could this be? I hope they don't think to check the shaking pile of coats in the middle of the floor. Ah, I probably picked the stupidest spot to hide in ever...' _he thought as he shut his eyes against the chilled floorboards with anxiety, trying to appear as a particularly weighted coat to whoever was there.

Who was he kidding? It had to be Ivan in the room... I mean, come on, it's his house!

"Latvia, where are you?" the call of his name made his blood run cold even when muffled as he shook harder under the stuffy coats. Oh no. He was done for. If only he could stop shaking...

"Raivis," this made his eyes shoot open as he almost jumped in surprise. And now Ivan was using his human name? He must be incredibly furious with him... "I'm not going to hurt you, Raivis." the muffled voice grew louder, their steps becoming too close for comfort. He could feel the vibrations made as the mystery person stepped up to the pile of suspiciously shaking coats.

"Where are you?" the mystery person asked again, hovering right over his body this time.

_'Notherenotherenothere...'_ he chanted insistently in his head, sighing in relief as he felt them beginning to walk away. He would have another day on Earth yet. This pleasant dream seemed to collapse, however, when the anxious teen felt the coats being pulled away from him in a frenzied manner, the none-too subtle indication that he had been found. Panicked, Raivis did what any normal person would do in a high stress situation.

Freak the hell out, of course.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" he screamed in undeniable terror, jumping out of the dwindling pile of fabric to inexplicably get wrapped up in one of Russia's military coats, unable to see underneath the dinosaur of a fashion statement as he fruitlessly tried to get away. He kept screaming even as the mystery person sighed and gently removed the coat from the little Latvian's head, patting his perfectly curled locks in an awkward display of affection.

"There, there..." Eduard repeated to the shaky teen for a moment, looking past him in embarrassment. Dealing with one's emotions was not one of his stronger points. It always made him feel uncomfortable when he had to and he was never very good at it to begin with. He much preferred spending time alone with his laptop instead. Or his mochis. Ah, how he adored those mischievous mochis...

A choked sob caught in the other's throat as he continued trembling in fear. Getting over his aversion to human contact, Eduard looked down and was met with a steady stream of hiccups, the name 'Ivan' being heard between gasps of air. He frowned, feeling guilty enough for involving others in his mission and now for causing the already nervous nation this much stress. It was his fault that they were infiltrating the psychotic Russian's house in the first place. Why hadn't he just let him go after he opened the door for them?

"Hey, don't cry," Eduard whispered gently, tensing when Raivis grabbed at his jacket like a lifeline, trying to stifle another pitiful crying fit he couldn't stop. "It's alright. Russia isn't here. I haven't seen him at all." he reassured calmly, trying not to feel too disgusted with the snot he knew the other must be dripping onto his jacket. He saw for himself when the teen lifted up his head, stubborn tears clinging to his long, fair lashes.

"Y-you promise...?" he stammered, staring up at the Estonian. Eduard nodded stiffly, looking away from teary violet eyes.

"I promise you." this seemed to calm him down as he slowly let go of Eduard's jacket, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his uniform and sinking to the floor with a sniffle.

"W-why are we h-here then? What are y-you looking for that's s-so important?" Raivis asked, visibly shaking on top of the pile of coats as he hugged himself to try and calm down. Eduard sighed again.

"I didn't want to tell either of you because I didn't know how you would react to what I have heard." the Latvian tilted his head confusedly at the obvious evasion of his question.

"W-what have you heard then?" the Estonian knew this information, of course. But...

_'How am I supposed to tell him this without him freaking out a second time?'_ he thought before giving up as he knew no other way to get the point across but with concise statements. He just hoped he wouldn't have to hug him anytime soon since he could definitely tell that his jacket was crusting now that he was moving around. Shaking his head to get his mind back on track, Eduard responded:

"I've received word from American intelligence agents that there are cameras hidden all over the globe to spy on us nations. It is said that they are linked to a large central computer in an undisclosed location outside Moscow. I presumed it to be somewhere near Russia's house, so I came up with a plan to check and it happened to involve using your spare key to get us inside, that's all." while explaining what he knew to the other, the bespectacled nation found his way towards a peculiar set-up of brightly colored flashing buttons and levers, all of which looked to be brand new and-

"Oh yeah.. That's true. I've known about it for some time already." the Estonian whipped his head around so fast, he was surprised his neck didn't hurt.

"What?" Eduard asked slowly, quite positive he had missed a word. Or five.

_'He must not have been serious about that. He must not be...' _one would surely tell the rest of the nations about something infringing on their right of privacy, right?

"It's right here if you don't believe me," Raivis walked past the dumbfounded Estonian to point out specific buttons' functions and what they could do. "There's even a switch to focus all of the cameras on one location and project it across the screens like in one of those music videos you would see on early MTV!" he said with a little too much enthusiasm, pulling the switch down to display the picture of a stairway in what was probably Germany's house, America was talking animatedly to his near-twin as Russia went down the staircase. He was all smiles, happily tapping his pipe against the palm of his hand as he left the screen. Russia...

"If Russia was there, then where is he going now...?" the bespectacled nation thought aloud, scrutinizing the video feed that was currently showing a furious almost-America storming down the staircase of Germany's house leaving a sighing real-America.

_'If I were Russia, where would I go after coming into somebody's house...? Well, I would go to Malmart to get more vodka. What else would I do?' _Eduard smirked, knowing that this was what the Russian always did. And in that case, he still had time left to go through some more of the footage before successfully wrapping his mission up.

"Hey, can I ask you a question? Eduard?" a soft voice floated around his head, causing the Estonian to look at its source.

"Huh?" Keen violet eyes stared up at his calculating green ones as he coughed uncomfortably into his hand. This didn't stop the younger nation from staring at him though.

"Why were you squeaking earlier? I was looking for you after I heard it, but got lost and ended up here. Somehow..." he trailed off. Eduard raised an eyebrow.

"Squeaking? I wasn't squeaking. You could have been hearing rats or something..." and that was when he remembered that he hadn't seen Toris for awhile, having left him in the kitchen because the clumsy nation accidently broke one of Russia's plates and he told him to leave it there. Toris was the type to clean when no one was making him. He never understood how the Lithuanian could take what the other did so easily like that. It was just different levels of tolerance, he supposed.

Hitting his head repeatedly to knock some sense into himself, Eduard turned back to the monitors and started reading the labels on the buttons and levers. Why did he keep getting sidetracked today? He needed to focus on the task at hand before the creepy Russian came back!

"Why were you h-hitting your head like t-that? A-are you okay?" Eduard nodded.

"I'm fine. Uh... Toris should be done in the kitchen and coming up the stairs. Don't worry." once Raivis nodded in understanding, he got to work on the central computer with cool confidence as he opened up hidden archives, reviewed clips of World Meetings past (wow, did Sweden look different with brown hair!) and sent gigabytes worth of information back to his laptop at home to document his evidence. America wasn't lying when he said his agents could find out anything, there was no way he would have known about this on his own. Except...

"Raivis?" said boy turned to look at him.

"Yes, what is it?" Eduard crossed his arms, leaning in the chair that sat in front on the monitors with his back to it as he shot the boy a look of mild bewilderment.

"Why... haven't you mentioned anything about this room or the monitors to anyone before? I know Russia wouldn't allow you to get away with it, but telling someone could have stopped him from having all... this. He... he doesn't need to know what every nation has done ever." Raivis squirmed from the accusatory stare aimed at him, looking at the floor in shame.

"W-well, I would have sooner but M-Mr. Russia is usually at home, s-so it's not like I could j-just tell someone about this place a-and have them b-believe me... But now that y-you've seen it, you can s-spread the information online a-and tell the whole globe about it." Eduard hummed, thinking over these words before something else occured to him.

"Wait a minute... The most recent footage I have recorded from the archive is of today. February 15th, 2014. But you see here," he pointed to the live feed of the Moscow Capital Building that showed the date in the top-left corner of the screen, "It says here that it's the 8th, but that was a week ago. This just doesn't add up. Why would there be footage of something from the last week when everything else is newly recorded? There's no logical reason for that." the two sat in silence, pondering over the oddity before Raivis perked up and spoke:

"Maybe there's some jokester out there who can hack into the computer's archive to funk up the order of what's playing and they're messing with us." Eduard considered this for a moment, shaking his head at the convoluted process that would take and how no one normal had the patience or capacity for it.

"No. That is too complex for anyone of the general or anonymous population to even stand and this is coming from the guy who hacks for fun." Raivis shrugged as Eduard searched his brain for anything to make sense of this, the room once again falling into silence. If this was true, that no one would do this for the want to, maybe... they felt they had to. But then... what did it mean?

"You know what I suddenly realized after all this talk of hacking into one's personal and public feeds," when Eduard didn't reply, Raivis went on anyway. "That Mr. America does something similar to this, but he just calls it the NSA. And they only get into the citizen's records and not the central government's. At least, that's what I think he said..." the random thought stewed on his brain for a few seconds before it gave Eduard an idea and he rushed over to the central computer, perplexing Raivis who easily followed him to the screen with renewed interest.

"If I can get into his logs and see his activity, then maybe I can trace it to whoever's doing this ridiculous live feed placement." Eduard said mostly to himself as he tapped away on the keyboard, clicking the mouse in under milliseconds and closely scanning the computer's activity over a monthly period to find any suspicious users who could have messed with it. The one and only record that appears says:

_**Vanya ^J^**_

_**1:30 AM **_

_**Sunday, February 16th, 2014 ** _

_'What...? It's not Sunday, is it?'_ Eduard thinks as he checks his watch and pauses. _'Oh, I guess it is then, but...' _he furrows his brows at the screen, leaning in to make sure he's not seeing things. Upon closer inspection, it was apparently 1:30 AM right now, too. Man, time sure flied. He stared at the record, trying to understand what the name given meant.

_'Vanya? Haven't... haven't I heard that from somewhere before...?' _he continued to stare at the screen until he figured it'd be better to track where this 'Vanya' person was hacking from and block their access.

As he was looking down at the keyboard and getting ready to pound in some codes, he stopped mid-type as Raivis shrieked with fear and fervently pointed in the direction of the monitors, basically unintelligible in his hysteria.

"I-I-I-I... I-I... Ivan...! H-he's on t-the screen!" Ivan? And that's when it clicked.

_'Vanya means Ivan and Ivan means Vanya. Russia had told them to call him that before and I only did when there was no other choice.. Ivan is Russia, Russia is Ivan and... Oh, for the love of Martin Luther... I'm dead now, aren't I...?'_

Looking up at the screen, the only thing visible was the smiling face of Russia as he cheerfully commented, "Yay! You got my puzzle, Raivis. I'm so glad you did and you too, Estonia! I want to thank you for playing, so I'll be there in a second to congratulate you both in person. Don't go~ No really, don't go." the monitors abruptly cut off after that as well as the lights as the Estonian and the Latvian stood in pitch black, suffocating darkness. The silence didn't last long as Raivis began to wail.

"W-we're going t-t-to die, E-Eduard!" he swore he could hear the snot escaping the boy's nostrils, chastising himself for being so insensitive at a time like this, Eduard tried to be comforting.

"No, we'll live. It might take a bit of readjusting. Again. But we'll be alright." Raivis quieted his wailing, but it didn't die down entirely.

"I-I wonder w-what h-h-happened to T-Toris..." Eduard opened his mouth to respond, but it was no use as the lights flickered on and there standing above the shaking boy, was a way too serene Russia, who had this to say:

"Oh, nothing happened to little Lithy. He cleaned up his trash and apologized for it like the good boy he is. He left you both a note, by the way." he held the note up to Eduard's face to read as Raivis felt like he was going to faint at any moment. Reading over the note in his head a couple times, the Estonian couldn't believe what he was reading.

"Hello Russia, I am so sorry that I broke your plates and I know you want to kill me and everything, but don't, please. I have swept up the remains and threw them out in the trash, leaving you with more than enough to pay to replace the ones I have destroyed and I can't think of what else to do. If you're going to punish anyone, punish Estonia for telling me to leave it (like I never would have) in the first place?! Whatever you do, do it to him the most. Yours truly, Lithuania. P.S. Seriously, he's crazy?!" he shouted upon reading the ending.

That no-good, little... traitor!

He threw the note to the floor, crushing it with his shoes. How dare he say such things and have the nerve to leave like a coward. Russia laughed at his utterly livid face, running his hands over the sobbing Latvian's hair like a loving parent and not the cruel person he truly was.

"Now... Where were we?" he asked in a slightly darker tone than before, closing the door to his security room and sealing their fates with it.


End file.
